Somastoa

Program — Daniel's draft, with the panel's notes

The strongest-written page of the three. Two small changes, and three lines the panel specifically wants to keep because they're doing real work. Highlight anything and reply in the sidebar.

The panel

🎯 Conversion — will a first-time visitor understand and sign up?
🧠 Behavioural science — what actually motivates and retains this audience.
🗣 Brand voice — tone, who it includes, who it pushes away.
🔎 Auditor — flags anything we can't back up.

Under the form

Your draft“Join the Cohors Prima waitlist at the same time.”

Suggested“Join the founding-members waitlist at the same time.”

🎯Conversion: same as the other pages — keep the offer, drop the Latin label so it lands on sight.

Guide cover · sign-off

Your draft“Command the body. Conquer the mind.”

Suggested“mens sana in corpore sano.”

🗣Brand voice: consistent sign-off across all three guides, and it reads as heritage rather than a battle cry.

Keep · the on-ramp

Your draft — keep it“One plan. Enter it at your level… whether your press-up is against a wall or on one arm, the rule is the same.”

PanelKeep it. This is a conversion asset.

🎯Conversion: the number-one reason people don't start a program is "I'm not fit enough yet." This line removes that in one sentence — everyone, from wall press-up to one-arm, sees a version for them. Wider top of funnel, better activation.

Keep · the honest promise

Your draft — keep it“The results come from the progression rule and showing up, not from the plan being clever.”

PanelDo not touch this.

🗣Brand voice: anti-hype honesty is rare in fitness marketing, and it's exactly what a person who's "already trained, and tired of hype" trusts. It makes the whole brand feel credible. Most founders would delete this to sound more impressive — keeping it is the smart move.

Worth a look (your call)

Your draft“The training plan is every other day. The results come from showing up.”

Option, not a fixKeep the headline; make the benefit explicit right under it (strength + engine, no gym, ~30–45 min).

🎯Conversion: the headline is good, but a first-time visitor still has to infer what they'll actually get. A short line naming the outcome makes the value explicit instead of implied. (That's what the stat row — 31-day cycle, 3–4 sessions, 30–45 min — is doing on the live version.)

Recommendations, not decisions. Reply on any line and I'll respond with the evidence or change my mind. — the panel